This week we have traveled to the exotic lands of Belize!
We are down to 6 women. Time to get serious about making connections and decisions as next week will be home town dates.
They have fancier boats in Belize than they do in Panama. We travel by speedboat across crystal blue water to a beautiful beach house where we receive a lecture from Chris Harrison and a date card.
1 on 1 – Lindzi, Two Halves Make a Whole
Lindzi and Ben take a (cut and paste from every other recap) helicopter ride over teal blue water to a deep blue hole in the ocean floor. Really beautiful and kind of creepy. It is Ben’s plan to jump from the helicopter into this deep blue hole, once again trying to make a love connection by curing Lindzi’s fear of heights.
Why is it people think to overcome the fear of heights a person just needs more exposure and should be thrust into situations in which they are forced to face this fear? We don’t do this with any other fear. You don’t throw a kid who is afraid of the dark into a dungeon. You give them a night light. You don’t put a person afraid of snakes or spiders into a pit of snakes and spiders, you kill the spider living in the bathroom for them. You don’t lock a person who is afraid of fire into a burning building, you teach them to stop drop and roll. But logically – of course a person who is afraid of heights can overcome it if we just force them to jump out of a helicopter into a hole in the ocean. Brilliant!
Lindzi overcame her fears, jumped into the abyss, and was rewarded with a kiss from Ben. Worth it?
They swim around for awhile to work up an appetite for dinner. For dinner they arrive at a candle lit pier for a romantic dinner picnic. I wonder, what is the candle budget for this show? And who’s job is it to go around lighting all of these candles? The poor guy runs around lighting all of these candles and then the wind picks up and blows half of them out and he has to run around to light them all again. I hope he gets paid a lot. Do you know why he should get paid a lot? Because he is single handedly creating the flame of love. It works, Lindzi thinks she is falling in love with Ben. Ben pulls out an art project to create a message in a bottle. They compose their own personal fairy tale (they should have hired me. Their fairy tale was kind of lame) on one side, promising to be true and open and honest always, at least until the end of this show. Then they draw a picture of fear concurers on the back. They drop it in the ocean and watch it float away, much like how they will someday watch their love float away when Ben proposes to ANTM.
1 on 1 – Emily, Do you Belize in Love?
First good thing to come out of this date – it makes Courtney want to kill herself. (That was mean. I take it back. Not really.)
Emily meets Ben in the bustling town of Cay Caulker. They take a bike ride down the dirt roads, tasting local coconut milk, playing a little street ball, and shopping the markets. Emily’s smile pays for a ride to go lobster catching for a fresh off the sea floor dinner, which apparently isn’t as easy as it sounds. Lobsters are quick little guys in the water. But not too quick for Ben, he mans up and catches dinner for his lady friend.
While the lobsters magically cook themselves, Emily and Ben do a little dancing. The lobster than appears on a picnic table and Emily and Ben sit down to talk more about ANTM, I mean eat dinner and get to know each other better. Emily officially invites Ben to come home and meet her family, Ben returns the sentiment with a toast to Emily being smart and beautiful, but mostly just smart.
1 on 1 – Courtney, Let’s Take the Next Steps in Our Relationship
ANTM is pleased as punch to get the one on one. Kacie shows a little personality and finally gets fired up about ANTM’s comments. I hope we see more possessive poodle tonight. She is way more fun.
Courtney flies in a little puddle jumper to meet Ben in Lamanai, Belize to find their lost sparkle.
It appears their sparkle is at the top of a sacrificial Mayan temple deep inside the jungles of Belize. The obvious place for sparkle to hide.
As they ascend the temple steps, ANTM gets serious about her doubts, sharing her concerns with Ben. But Ben is quick to reassure her of his feelings, coaxing her to the top of the temple, where they sneak up and capture their lost spark. All is right in Lustland once again. Ben can now see his past, present, and future; he thinks he has found what he is looking for in a wife in ANTM: edginess, weirdness, (and selfish, crazy, manipulative, bitchy, slutty, ANTMness?) Soulmates.
One itsy bitsy roadblock – Ben fears being with a woman who he likes that ultimately, people don’t. I’ll let you decide if you think people like ANTM or not.
Group Date – Nicki, Rachel, Kacie, Let’s Sea Who’s Family I will Meet
Ben sneaks into the house and wakes the women up at 4am for their date. The women rush to get ready and arrive on the beach as the sun comes up. They hop into a catamaran, pour some breakfast champagne, and prepare to dive with a few sharks. Ben once again feels the need to single handedly concur the fears of his girlfriends. Rachel is scared shizless of this date activity. But no worries Rachel, Ben’s words of advice – just punch them in the nose. I bet I know who she wants to punch in the nose right about now. Kacie and Nicki jump right in. Rachel freaks out. Ben pushes her in. Ben and Rachel float away hand in hand. The wet poodle gets jealous.
Each of the ladies get a little chat time with Ben to tell him how normal they are. Nicki gets a little more face time (let’s be honest, no one was looking at her face) on the camera blogs this episode. Rachel raspy talks about something I didn’t pay attention to, and Kacie pulls out the big guns and tells Ben she is falling in love with him! She gets a rose. Which is better than a “thank you” at least.
Rose Ceremony
ANTM isn’t too concerned as Ben isn’t the only guy in the world. She decides to focus on her pina coloda umbrella and the only cherry she has left, while the other women shoot daggers at her from their eyes.
Ben is ready to hand out some home town dates. Ready right after he pulls ANTM aside for a chat, due to some concerns voiced from the other sister wives. Nothing revolutionary really happens in this conversation, but somehow Ben has made a decision.
First rose goes to Nicki (‘s boobs). 2nd rose goes to Lindzi, and the 3rd and final rose goes to ANTM. Ba Zinga!
Rachel raspy cries, then goes home. Emily writes a dissertation then goes home.
Next week – Only 4 women left and you don’t want to miss it! It is the best week of the season. It is the week that we get to judge not only each of the girl friends. But we get to judge their crazy families as well!
We have a lot of people still in the competition as we round our way into the home stretch. We now have a 3 way tie for first between Heather, Pri, and Kindy. Who will fight their way to victory? Stay tuned!
Cheers!
Manufactured Drama 
Leave a comment