Hello Switzerland, nice to meet you.
We kick off this episode with a little montage of Ben’s current journey to find love. We see snippets of real moments Ben has shared with these women throughout the process that make us for just a moment believe that Ben may actually have a shot at finding love, we see Nicki being care free and having fun even in the rain, we get a glimpse into Lindzi’s easy going part country party city attitude, and then all hope we have for Ben is shattered when we come to Courtney’s fake crazy manipulative bulsht.
But let’s put the negativity aside for a moment and start the week with a fun loving romantic date with Nicki.
Ben and Nicki take an air car (I get tired of saying helicopter) to the top of the famous Alps mountain tops. To be honest it looks a little snowy and cold. Not really my idea of a perfect date – but they seem to be enjoying themselves.
Luckily they land on a non snowy mountain top to enjoy their first picnic of the season (more like their 30th picnic, but I’m sure it feels just as special to them as the 1st one did. Not really. but maybe.) To celebrate this picnic they scream, letting their love echo through the valleys of the landscape. Better hold onto each other tight – don’t want one of you to slip and plummet down the mountain face to your death – I feel like that would result in an anti climactic rose ceremony which just wouldn’t be fair to the rest of us. Luckily everyone lives to see dinner. A romantic candle lit cabin is the perfect backdrop to get down to the serious and most important question not yet answered – How many kids does Ben want? Okay that was asked – but wasn’t the important question. Important question – Will they forgo their individual rooms for the fantasy suite?!?!?!
With a resounding “eh, yea, okay” from them both, we make our way to the fantasy suite. If Ben’s performance in anyway correlates to the candle quantity in this suite – I am sure it is going to be a magical night. Well, as magical as a 1st of 3 overnight dates can be.
Let’s move on to Lindzi’s date to see what fear conquering date Ben as planned for her this time.
Oh – the date is repelling into a canyon? Great! Very creative.
They get in some repelling/relationship analogies and then sit on their asses as a team of guys pullies them down the rocks.
Was sitting on that rope as you ride down the mountain really that scary? I’m confused. You didn’t even do anything! You literally sat on your ass for 5 minutes while someone else lowered you down on a rope. No harder than sitting on the commode (people should really use this word more often) which you do 5 times a day. dumb.
To relax their muscles from all of that hard work they just did – they hop into a hot tub for some canoodiling. But hey, if there was ever a hot tub to canoodle in – one with a view of the Swiss Alps is definitely one I would choose. Sure beats out that backyard softside with the Smirnoff ice in hand at the cool high school boy’s house when his parents are gone for the weekend. Oh don’t act like it didn’t happen. We all know that diary page got you in trouble.
We move from the hot tub to a fancy dinner at a tiny little table set all by itself in a big room surrounded by camera men and boom mics. But don’t worry, there are two big plants in front of the table – so that makes it cozy. Cozy enough for Lindzi to tell Ben she hopes for a proposal at the end of the process which gets her an invite for a sleep over. But Lindzi wants to make it clear that she isn’t just some floozy that stays over with boys, so she tells Ben she isn’t just some floozy that sleeps over with boys before she accepts the invite to be a floozy that sleeps over. We see some making out amongst the 100’s of pillows on the bed – and then the door is shut in our faces.
But, I’m sure nothing happened as Lindzi isn’t a floozy that just sleeps over with boys.
Last date for the week – ANTM. And I am sure it is going to be a very special overnight since this will be Ben and Courtney’s first night together. (well second, okay maybe third, but special none the less?).
Ben and Courtney take a romantic train ride, gazing at the beautiful landscapes as they travel to an adorable little Swiss village where all fairy tales are born. They shop their way through the village picking up little treats (for their picnic) here and there chasing goats and garden gnomes. What an adorable and perfect little couple they make don’t they? Gosh I hope she wins.
They have a little chit chat and for the first time Ben shows a normal reaction to the ridiculousness that has been ANTM this season. ANTM has a little dialog with the camera in which she puts her acting skills to work, forcing out some tears and remorse for her actions. She brings this up with Ben at dinner, sharing her regret and apologies (?) with Ben, seeming to ease his concerns. In return Ben shares his fantasy card with ANTM. They kiss, make up, and snuggle into the smallest hot tub ever built by gnomes. Ben is in heaven.
After these three magical fantasy dates Ben has a lot to think about before tonight’s rose ceremony. But before he can sort out his thoughts, Kacie B stops by to get some answers. Ben politely tells Kacie her family was bat shiz crazy and he couldn’t in a million years see himself with them as in-laws. At least now Kacie can place the blame on her parents instead of herself. Everyone loves a good blame displacer. After the poodle gets her answers she doesn’t leave without letting a little bark about ANTM slip her tongue. Ben shows Kacie to the door (again) without a goodbye so he can think. The poodle can’t handle it and collapses for a spell on the hotel carpet. I hope she left whatever feelings she had for Ben on that musty hotel carpet she was laying on – because he is not worth the heartache she looks like she is feeling. But the question is – will Ben heed his trusty companion’s advice about the crazy?
Of course not, what kind of drama would that leave for the finale? ANTM and Lindzi get the roses and the chance to be Mrs. Ben F.
But first, we get to hear all the juicy dirty little dets from the ladies next week on “the women tell all”. Look out for all those claws Chris Harrison – the fur will be flyin. Rehr.
Nicki knocked a lot of you out of the competition this week, but you still get an extra 5pts for having her in your top 3 and if you were lucky enough to have her in third place – you get an additional 10pts added to your score! With Nicki in her number 3 slot – Celeste rockets to the top of the leader board with 93 pts!
Cheers!
Manufactured Drama 